If that was your dad, he is hot
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
