yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize