we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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