id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
