Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
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