I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
