just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
