So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
