On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
