Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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