It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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