That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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