....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
So many bounce houses so little time
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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