Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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