doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize