It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
