But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
