The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
People in love make me want to vomit
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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