Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
So much Jack, so little girl.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
