If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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