So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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