i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
it's great music for shaving your balls
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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