My room smells like vodka and shame
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
