I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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