Don't EVER smell your tampon
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
