ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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