I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
The chlamydia really affected his face.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
