Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize