I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
