So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
