Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
