dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
