no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
