I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
