Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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