fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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