Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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