He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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