Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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