i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
