so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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