You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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