the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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