first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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