Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
