No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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