He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
she looked like the before picture.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
