I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
