As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
