I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
