I wish I only lived at night.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
