sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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