i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
