# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
