Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
