i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize