She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
