I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
