I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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