my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
