Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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